For much of my life, I lived in the FOG—Fear, Obligation, and Guilt—without even realizing it. These emotions were like an invisible force, shaping how I viewed my adoption, my identity, and my place in the world. It wasn’t until I began to question, reflect, and reclaim my truth that I found my way out of the FOG and into something completely different: OPEN—Owning my Authentic Identity, Passionate Purpose, Empowered Choice, and Nurtured Growth.
Living in the FOG
The FOG of adoption is something many adoptees experience, even if we don’t have the words for it at first.
Fear—of being ungrateful, of being rejected, of asking too many questions.
Obligation—to be the “good adoptee,” to fulfill expectations, to not rock the boat.
Guilt—for wanting to know more, for feeling lost, for struggling with an identity that was handed to us but never fully explained.
The FOG keeps us silent. It convinces us that our discomfort isn’t valid, that we should just be grateful, that any pain we feel is our own fault. But the truth is, stepping out of the FOG isn’t about blame—it’s about truth. And truth is liberating.
Stepping into the OPEN
Leaving the FOG behind wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. I stepped into the OPEN, where each letter represents a vital part of my healing and growth:
Owning my Authentic Identity – No longer letting others define who I am. I get to reclaim my story and my truth.
Passionate Purpose – Finding what truly matters to me beyond expectations. My life is mine to shape.
Empowered Choice – Recognizing that I am not powerless. I have a voice, and I have the right to use it.
Nurtured Growth – Allowing myself space to evolve, to heal, and to be exactly who I am without apology.
The Journey Continues
Coming out of the FOG isn’t a one-time event; it’s a process. Some days, I still feel its pull, but now I recognize it for what it is. I remind myself that I deserve clarity, freedom, and self-ownership.
If you’re an adoptee still finding your way, know this: You are not alone. The FOG may feel all-encompassing, but there is something beautiful waiting on the other side. And when you step into the OPEN, you step into you.
Have you experienced the FOG? What does stepping into the OPEN look like for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below! 💛
