Umbilicus by Paula Gruben was my first-ever autobiographical novel — and a striking one at that. Though framed as fiction, every detail is grounded in truth. What makes it particularly significant in the context of adoption is that Paula not only changed the names of the people in her story — she also changed her own. That decision alone speaks volumes in a narrative so deeply tied to questions of identity, secrecy, and selfhood.
As a fellow South African adoptee, nearly two decades older than Paula, I found the world she writes about immediately recognisable — the time period, the culture, the unspoken rules, and the legal structures that shaped so many adoption experiences in our country. Her story unfolded in places and circumstances that felt uncannily familiar.
What makes Umbilicus especially striking is Paula’s use of second-person narration — writing her entire story as “you.” It’s a rare and bold stylistic choice, particularly in memoir. Rather than saying “I felt,” she writes “You feel,” creating an unusual duality: at once intimate and removed. It’s as though she’s speaking both to her younger self and to every reader who has ever grappled with identity, abandonment, or the need for answers. That narrative voice becomes a mirror, reflecting not only her pain and longing, but ours.
Paula’s honesty is both restrained and razor-sharp. She doesn’t dramatize or embellish — she simply tells it like it was. That restraint makes her revelations all the more affecting. There were moments I found deeply confronting, others quietly affirming.
Reading Umbilicus didn’t just move me — it validated parts of my own experience I hadn’t seen reflected before. I’m grateful Paula chose to tell her story in this way, and I believe it will resonate with others who’ve lived through the silent complexities of adoption, especially within the South African context.
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